You are the worst dog owner I have every personally encountered.
It is almost ten o’clock at night, and you haven’t been home to walk your dog. I can tell because the dog has been barking, howling, and whining by turns since I got home at 6 p.m. The dog is not the problem here. When you come home promptly and walk him, he makes nary a peep for the rest of the night. But when you take entire nights off (and the occasional weekend away without a dogsitter), he lets his displeasure and loneliness be known. To the whole block.
When you do deign to take the poor pup outside for a stroll, you just walk him on the edge of the parking lot, chatting on your phone while he does his business. And then you leave his crap on the ground. Sure, it’s not a heavily trafficked area, but when someone does venture over, it takes great focus to not step in his stale shit.
I’m not mad at you for trying to have the lifestyle of a young urban professional. You want to hang out after work, have a few beers, and flirt with the guy a couple cubicles down. But if you couldn’t take a half-hour to walk your pooch, scratch the cutie behind the ears, and give him some food before you head out to the bar you shouldn’t have gotten a dog.
See this? You should have gotten one of these. They don’t give a crap if you never come back.
Dogs are awesome. They give you kisses and love when the guy who works a few cubicles down rejects you. But you owe him the same amount of love in return. To say nothing of the people in the building who have to listen to the wailing sobs of your neglected pooch.
So, please step up your pet owning game.