As a kid growing up in the sticks, trick-or-treating couldn’t be done in our neighborhood without fear of getting run over by a speeding car (we have no sidewalks) or mauled by a bear. Not wanting a scare that badly, Mom would load my brother and I into the car and drive to my former preschool teacher’s house every year. Mrs. Coutcher would welcome us to her densely populated neighborhood in Warwick. My brother and I would hit a few houses on her cul-de-sac before returning to her house and handing out some candy to the little kids, which was my favorite part of the night. (Aside from getting a full bag of Fun Size Snickers from my Grandpa and some full-size candy bars from Mimi and Gramps, of course.)
When I moved to Boston for college, I was ready to enjoy handing out candy to trick-or-treaters as an adult. But I’ve lived in Brighton, Brookline, Somerville, Jamaica Plain, and spent Halloweens in other neighborhoods in greater Boston and never had more than a couple of kids in costume show up. And it’s really starting to bum me out.
I’ve bought scads of candy, ready to dole it out to princesses and cowboys and toddlers in pumpkin costumes, but at most I’ve had a few fifteen-year-olds show up with some sloppily applied makeup demanding candy. Last year, I set up shop on my friend’s stoop in a small residential part of Quincy, certain scores of adorable South Shore tots would be collecting Snickers and Reeses from a big bowl. After a mere two kids showed up, I gave up and went to the gym.
All I want is to have a glass (or half a bottle) of red wine while watching cute kids demand candy from me one day a year. Where do I have to move to make this happen? (Aside from Beacon Hill. If I lived there, I’d have no extra cash to spend on those adorable freeloaders.) Let me know, Boston.