Fill In the Blanks

I think Twitter broke my long-form writing brain. It’s great to have an outlet for all those miscellaneous ideas and impressions that bounce around in your brain throughout the day. But back in the early Aughts, we had to save our rage and emotions until we could get to a computer an fire up our Blogger account to air them. This allowed a larger idea to unfold, like a beautiful flower, or one of those pill-shaped things that become small dinosaur-shaped sponges when immersed in water.

In an attempt to get that part of my brain back, I keep firing up this WordPress site in an effort to write out a full-formed piece. Tonight, I stared blankly at the screen and Tweeted my distress. (See?) Man-about-Boston Ratty suggested the good old PR blog trope: What ______ Can Teach Us About _______.

Sure. Let’s roll with that.

What Attending a First Birthday Party Can Teach Us About Our Status as a Grown-Up.
The majority of my close post-college friends don’t have kids. Therefore, it’s always a shock to me to hang out with people that are my age who have kids running around. I attended a first birthday party for the son of a couple of friends this weekend. There was still a ton of beer and wine flowing, but there were also an abundance of sidewalk chalk and Huggies wipes. (New to me–I don’t know how your college life was.) It feels like this changed overnight, and while I love making faces at babies, I still feel completely unprepared for the responsibility of growing, birthing, and caring for another human life, and I don’t see that changing anytime soon. Maybe I’d feel more confident if I could balance my checkbook properly.

What Shopping for Skinny Pants Can Teach Us About Patience.
I’m not as skinny as I once was, but I also haven’t gained a massive amount of weight. I’m up probably one pants size from a couple of years ago. Which shouldn’t be a big deal. But the market is completely saturated with skinny pants. Brightly colored, ill-cut skinny pants. I’ve always had to size up for slim-cut pants to get them to go over my butt and thighs. It’s fine. But I shouldn’t have to go up four sizes to get a pair that will make it above my knee. Get it together, fashion. (I did find a pair of bright red skinny cords at Land’s End Canvas this weekend IN MY SIZE. You can stay, Land’s End.)

What Going to a Bookstore on Saturday Can Teach Us About Print.
It’s not dead yet. I spent a good deal of time at Brookline Booksmith on Saturday. It was packed. And while the store has dedicated a significant amount of space to random bric-a-brac, jewelry, and a mind-blowing stock of Moleskine notebooks, most of the customers were walking out with piles of books.

What Sneak Previews of Black Friday ads Can Teach Us About Consumerism.
As a frequent Target “guest,” I got an email today that allowed me to peruse their Black Friday offerings. As I clicked through pages of toys and televisions and iPods, I was left cold. I’ve got so much crap in my apartment now I can barely move, some of it paid for on credit cards I’m still paying off. I don’t want more junk. I want airfare.

What This Conceit Can Teach Us About My Blogging Skills.
They’re rusty. But: Hey, words, published to the Internet!

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